Conan Visits Jordan’s Favorite Restaurant – CONAN on TBS

So Jordan, I know Cortona is
your favorite town in Italy. Right. So, I arranged a special treat for you. People of Cortona, I wish to thank you on behalf of myself, and my fake Italian
friend from Long Island. Now, the mayor of Cortona, please. Ah, very good I now would like to move
on to the great honor that Jordan is going to be given. A parking space made in his honor. (scattered applause) Jordan, please. (band plays Jordan out as crowd cheers) We’re going to your favorite restaurant, is that right? Yes. We came here because Jordan,
pretty much explicitly said, he’s a big deal in this restaurant. I’m not concerned with having a big deal, I’m concerned with having a good meal. It’s not all about rank. You have this insecurity about you, that you project onto others. I don’t care if I’m a
big deal, a little deal, a medium deal, a neutral deal. I just want to go eat a good meal, how many people do I have to know here? I don’t know who you are,
I don’t know who you are. (arguments overlapping) are
you on cocaine right now? (laughter) (Jordan speaking Italian) Grazie! We have heard that
Jordan is a big deal here. Your picture’s up on the wall! Yes, it’s an honor. Why did you change the wine glasses? Listen, just listen to
me. (audience laughter) This is my place, this is my experience that I’m sharing with you, okay? You may love it, you may hate it. But, at least you’ll know
you experienced it my way. I really don’t, this glass
is not balanced in the hand. See, it’s like top heavy. You’re scaring me. This wine is from a few kilometers from where we sit right now. Just say miles. We’re not metric. What are you smelling
when you smell this wine? In the same way warmth
gives people comfort, sometimes the chill of the
forest gives people comfort. And I feel like the smell of this wine, gives me the same feeling. (laughter) What do you smell? You sit there with a judging face without commenting yourself. I smell desperation, I smell sadness, I smell a need to
construct a false identity. (laughter) Tuscany, as I’ve mentioned,
is a region of meat. And the meat of this region
in particular is the tagliata. Tagliare is to cut, the tagliata is cut. It’s a sliced steak… They have a pasta al fumo
which has bacon in it, which I know you like,
you’re big on bacon. It’s got bacon, it’s in this
like, creamy tomato sauce. Ammazzacaffe is the coffee killer. Why? Coffee keeps you up late
at night, the ammazzacaffe, the after dinner drink, puts
you to sleep after the coffee. Well, I think I’m gonna sleep just fine. (audience laughter) Grazie. Ah, prego, prego! Rastafarian! I have the music and
soul of an Italian person when I’m here, I just
don’t have the words. You know what I mean? You’re clearly not Italian,
I mean, look at you. You know, look at the way you’re dressed, look at your physical
condition, I mean there What does that mean? I’m saying that there
are different body types. There’s an American Do you think I’m heavy? I think you’re heavier
than the average Italian. Let’s just say heavier, not
that that’s a bad thing. Maybe you’re stronger,
maybe it’ll keep you warm. But, I’m saying you’re clearly
bigger than an Italian man. You just body shamed me. You would’ve thought that
your body is perfect? Not perfect. I’m not here to insult you. Well, you’re doing a pretty good job. I haven’t insulted you at all, okay? You look at yourself naked? I look at myself naked every night, it’s the only way I can
actually become erect. Look, I’m cold, you’re comfortable. You understand? It’s not a bad thing! You’re better than I am. Because, I’m lean and I had a
big problem with the coldness. Yeah, but I’m okay
because I’m covered in a down jacket of fat. (audience laughs) Are you aware of all your
facial widths over the years? 2002, you were gross. If I look at a show from
2002, it’s almost like, it looks like you were
digitally manipulated. Like you were a skinny guy
playing a fat in the movie. (audience explodes with laughter) You look great now, I’m
just saying in 2002, you were disgusting,
just look at the tapes. Ah, perfecto. (audience laughs and protest) Mucho bella! One of the reasons we came to Italy, is you said there was a
dessert named after you. I look at this menu, no
dessert named after you! What’s the dessert’s name? The Dolci di Jordan. But I don’t see it here on
the menu. Little confused. Special in summer. Special in summer? Yes. Can this be the Conan salt? This is the salt of Conan, sale di Conan. She doesn’t even know that you are Conan, she does not know who you
are, you understand that? No, she doesn’t know who you are. (both continue to bicker aimlessly) (audience laughter)

100 thoughts on “Conan Visits Jordan’s Favorite Restaurant – CONAN on TBS

  1. God damn it I just realized I am Jordan schlansky in real life going on and on about random facts and useless info

  2. 6:23

    Conan: Can this be the Conan salt?
    Conan: This is the salt of Conan. Sale de Conan.

    Jordan: She doesn't even know that you are Conan.

    Conan: Doesn't matter.

    Jordan: She does not know WHO you are.

    Conan: She doesn't know who YOU are.

    Jordan: You understand?

    Conan: She doesn't know who YOU are.

    Jordan: You're presupposing she knows your name.

    Conan: She doesn't know who YOU are.
    Conan: We came here, […]

    Jordan: You're so used to be people knowing who you are,

    Conan: […] Before we(?) showed up, and you paid her, and you said […]

    Jordan: You walk into a restaurant in a foreign country,
    Jordan: And you expect people to know that, […]

    Conan: Sad, sad […]

    Jordan: Conan isn't even a name […]

  3. I love Conan but after seeing him with Jordan I just feel bad for the guy 😂he’s different loll still funny tho even if it’s just a act

  4. Wow.. Jordan checks Conan at 2:54. Manned up big-time. Love it….. Buuuut he goes weird again at 3:25.Classic. Lol.

  5. I saw a genuine smile from Jordan while watching this remote. Crew probably had tons of fun and got to know each other better. I enjoyed watching this.

  6. I just visited Cortona today with my family.
    I went to the restaurant Jordan loves and it’s true he has a desert named after him. It’s so cool. There is also an autographed photo of Conan inside.
    The town is amazing I highly recommend it to everyone visiting Tuscany!

  7. 90% of what jordon said was stereotypical 1 Italians have the same dress sense like America 2 there are Italian exactly like Conan in Italy and 3 stfu jordon

  8. I love how Jordan has become like Conan’s disapproving wife over the years. Lol. Their relationship has grown into this amazing dis functional odd couple-like thing that I can’t get enough of. Lol

  9. wow, i never write comments on youtube, but this video made me lol for real. There's nothing that is funnier than true laughter. With all the gasping for air cause you laughed way too hard so you need to breath in before beeing able to continue. You 2 made my day, don't ever stop 😀

  10. Love how Jordan doesn't care what kind of deal he is and as soon as they sit down he talks to Conan like a mob boss who owns it lol

  11. I'm Italian, and I deeply want to hang out with Jordan in Italy, I'm saying it from the bottom of my heart!

  12. "the chill of the forest gives people comfort" I fricken felt that so hard Jordan. I live near some state trails and I walk my dogs (let them run off leash) around them and just take in the huge forest surrounding my home in. Its magical.

  13. I wanted to hear more! Maybe it’s because I’m Italian. Or maybe it’s because my Mom dropped me on my head when I was a baby. 😂

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