Garden Fresh – Water


Yes! Aww, splish! Floodin’ the airwaves
Drip drop, it don’t stop Unless there’s a drought
Dihydrogen monoxide What are you talking about? It’s water
Fillin’ my glass It’s water
It’s got style and class It’s always debonair and never crass
If it’s not water, no thanks, I’ll pass Water, water everywhere, just for me
I chug-a-lug mug after mug voraciously I don’t need a bribe to imbibe something
so delicious I’ll take a swig so big, I don’t leave any
for the fishes I pour some for my homies, down the drain
I throw some up in the air and make it rain
(make it rain!) I can’t imagine life without it, I mean
literally It’s never too sweet, salty, sour, or bitter
to me I boil it up if it ain’t already potable
Even when it’s not, it makes all the boats floatable Ice, liquid, or steam, lake, river, or stream
These variations on a theme are no pipe dream If you still think that water is totally worthless
It covers seventy percent of the Earth’s surface It’s in the sky, the clouds, even on the
moon And frozen way out on a planet aptly named
Neptune Every other libation can just take a vacation
Ain’t no man-made creation that can satisfy my hydration Got my drink
In the cup From the sink
In the cup Cold or hot
In the cup It’s what I got
In the cup It’s water
It’s always wet It’s water
The greatest refreshment yet I put it in my pool to take a swim in
With some of my favorite water lovin’ women I’m told you’re supposed to drink eight cups
of water per day But I’ve graduated beyond that kind of child’s
play (hooray!) I carry around a gallon everywhere
I go I need a whole lot of water to keep up this
flow Our bodies are made of water to an oceanic
extent We average as a species about sixty percent
And if you dip below the status quo, the effects you show will let you know
That you’re in hot water (how apropos!) So if your constitution needs redistribution
Join the revolution; try the aqueous solution We’re all sippin’ water ’cause it’s so
legit From the bourgeois to the proletariat And when I start drinking, I don’t need to
consider What this particular fluid will do the state
of my liver So put away that whiskey, wine, and beer
For my beverage selection, the choice is clear You better wet your whistle with no delay
Otherwise you’re gonna die in three to five days Precipitation
In the cup Evaporation
In the cup Condensation
In the cup No imitation
In the cup It’s water
I’ve got a well to drill It’s water
I’d kill for another refill It’s totally neutral, but it’s the best
It splashes when it passes the litmus test [Gasp]
– Woah, what’s wrong? I dunno, I feel…deficient somehow.
– I don’t understand; you’ve been drinking water all day!
– Well, maybe I need something more calorically substantial.
– You mean water has no calories? – That’s its only failing. There’s somethin’ real serious we gotta
address Even though we think water is the best Sometimes we need more nutrients
And milk is far more nutrient dense Chocolate, strawberry, or plain ol’ white
A hot cup of milk keeps me warm at night Local, grass-fed, and hormone-free
But still enriched with vitamin D You see, milk is a colloid that I never avoid
The only secretion that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed I like to drink milk ’cause its so creamy
And tryptophan is a precursor to serotonin, so it makes me dreamy It goes down easy ’cause it ain’t fat
free (ain’t fat free) It’s thick and beautiful, just like me (just
like me) If you can get past the minor halitosis
Then you’ll never ever ever get osteoporosis It’s milk
It’s half a milkshake It’s milk
It’s also good with things you bake It’s milk
Enjoyed equally by pros and rookies It’s milk
When everybody is dunkin’ their cookies But it wouldn’t exist without water
No, it couldn’t exist without water All right, now when I say “H2”, you say
“O” (It shouldn’t exist without water) H2 (O), H2 (O)
(It would be awfully dry without water) I said, when I say “H2”, you say “O”
(We would all most likely die without water) H2 (O), H2 (O)
(I couldn’t even cry without water) Blowin’ bubbles
In the cup Make it a double
In the cup Fill it up
In the cup In the cup
In the cup It’s water
The main ingredient in snow It’s water
How does your garden grow Spendin’ all my money in a frivolous way
Buyin’ case after case of Perrier It’s water
With the pills you take It’s water
Prescribed for your tummy ache Everybody knows that drinkin’ ain’t easy
Unless you’re sippin’ nothin’ but Fiji Es agua
Es bueno beber It’s water
It’s how I wash my hair It’s water
With a lemon wedge It’s water
Or you can water your hedge With water
It doesn’t cost a cent It’s water
It’s included in my rent It’s water
It comes out of the tap It’s water
It’s the subject of this rap Word. [toilet flushing] [cheering, laughing] …up my nose!
– Aww! [laughing] All right, we need to…
– That’s a funny ending to the video.

5 thoughts on “Garden Fresh – Water

  1. Carrie here. I sent it to everyone I know. I think my friend who is a science teacher will LOVE it. I know we did. We toasted to you with FIZZY WATER! PS LOVE THAT COW!

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