How I Killed My Garden with Bad Compost Last Summer

– Hey you with the black thumb. Yeah, I’m talking to you. Are you going to be planting
a garden this summer? Because if you are, I want
to give you two huge things, two huge things that you better not do if you want to avoid killing
the majority of your garden like I did last summer. So, here we go. (rock guitar music) Okay, so every Memorial
Day there is a parade and a celebration in my neighborhood, well actually my suburb, and I have people over at my house and we grill out and we
go up to the beer garden, blah blah blah blah blah. Anyway, so I wanted to get my garden down before that happened, and it all went real real wrong last year. So here’s what I did wrong. The answer is compost. My compost, I opened,
I actually was doing it in a very large garbage can, because I was being cheap, and I didn’t buy the tumbler or whatever. Anyway, I opened it and it just stunk and it was nasty as all get out, and several several people said to me, oh yeah, compost is supposed to smell. Composed is supposed to smell. And I started doing some research, and here’s your first tip. Compost is not supposed to
smell, it’s not (laughs)! The thing is, you have to have the right mix of green and brown, and what that means is brown
is gonna be like your sticks, your leaves, that kind of stuff, and green is gonna be
your vegetables and your grass, whatever you throw in there. So as a vegetarian, I want a garden because to lose weight
you need to eat vegetables and you need to eat healthy. So it’s also a great way not
to waste your vegetable scraps, ’cause as a vegetarian you’re eating a lot of vegetables, right? So I was throwing them in there, throwing them in there all year, but I wasn’t throwing
any more sticks or leaves or anything like that, and
it stunk to high heaven, it was terrible. So here’s your first clue. If you’re putting your kitchen
scraps in your compost, every time you do it, make sure that you’re putting
in sticks and leaves with it so you get the right mix. Otherwise, you’re gonna
get a stinky terrible mess. So here’s the next problem. So you have to balance it out to not only get rid of the smell but make sure that it’s
effective to grow your plants, ’cause it provides
nutrients to the plants. That was the whole point of making compost in
the first place, right? So here’s your tip number two. Don’t try to fix it after
you put it on the ground. ‘Cause I was a huge dumbass last year, and that’s what I did, and killed the majority of my plants. You have to fix it where it’s at first, whether it’s a container,
whether you have a compost pile, whatever the way you decided
to do it, fix it first. Now, I don’t know what happens
when you have too much brown, but my problem was I had too much green, too many vegetables, right? And that means the acid is really high, and the way to balance that
out is to put lime in it, and that balances the mixture,
which eventually happened. And about maybe like a third
of my vegetables survived, but it was awful, and also still stunk when
I put it on the ground. So the entire yard stunk,
and I felt terrible, because I felt bad for my neighbor. I guarantee you my neighbor
could smell it for days, and I was actually
tempted to walk next door, and be like sorry my yard
stinks, I know it, it’s my fault, and I was too embarrassed to even do that. So, fix it first. I actually had to put mulch on top of it just to try to mask the smell, which was ridiculous. Okay, so if you want a good
compost or a good garden, you need to one, get your balance right. Two, if you mess up your compost, fix it before you put it on the ground. And three, if you think
this is gonna be too hard, just buy some pre-made fertilizer
or whatever at the store, because honestly, it might be easier in some cases! I like it ’cause I feel good, like ’cause I have a way
to recycle my vegetables, and I’m not just throwing
them into the trash. I’m not a huge save-the-planet person, but I do like to do what I can when I can. So, if you have any questions
put them in the comments, and I will get back to
you as soon as I can.

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